Toto's Adventures in Oz
Caption: Love it
Link: http://www.retroplanet.com/PROD/32817.html
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Reading Notes: Aesop's Fables, Part B
These notes come from the Aesop's Fables unit written by Roger L'Estrange and other authors (see link for other authors). Goodne...
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My name is Carli Davis. I used to be Carli Bishop, but my best friend decided he liked his name better, so he gave it to me along with a rin... -
Link to Storybook: Toto's Adventures in Oz Caption: Love it Link: http://www.retroplanet.com/PROD/32817.html
• Carli, I was draw to your story because my mother loves the movie, The Wizard of Oz. Since I have seen the movie many times I was curious to see your take on Toto’s Adventures in Oz. I like that Toto is the one telling the stories from his point of view. The way you portray his character seems to fit the happy dog that you see in the film. I especially like when he talks about his owner. I really enjoyed his introduction story. the only thing that might help is if you moved the caption for the picture to the bottom of the page. The text after the picture made me think that it was the end of Toto’s introduction and it created a break in the middle of his story. I cannot wait to read the rest of Toto’s Adventure in Oz and how he views each of the iconic events that happened.
ReplyDeleteHi Carli! Your idea is so cute! I love Toto, I actually lived in Kansas for a while and have a scraggly little black dog too so naturally I have been Dorothy for Halloween many times! I really like how the stories are going to be from Toto's point of view this time, I think that will add a very interesting twist to the original story! I am really interested to see now if Toto is going to get a new sister or not, you mentioned in the introduction that they were going to get another dog named Emma? The only qualms I have were are you going to incorporate Emma into your stories somehow? Because you clearly set up three distinct stories for Toto to tell but then at the end you mentioned the second dog and it threw me off a little bit. Was Emma in the original stories but not the movie? I am just confused about her relevancy and I think it would be nice to have that be a little more clear!
ReplyDeleteCarli, I love the way you're writing your storybook from Toto's perspective. It's going to be really fun to hear more of the stories from his perspective, since it's so much more focused on what he smells and hears. One thing I think that could help with the pacing of your story to match Toto's shorter attention span would be to use shorter paragraphs. I think shorter, punchier paragraphs could help a lot with the part where Toto is getting swept up into the sky, since it's already told in a way where you can tell Toto is overwhelmed and confused by what's going on around him. I also had a similar question to what Sarah said above — when will we get to meet Emma? I have only seen the Wizard of Oz movie, so I wasn't sure if she makes an appearance in the book. Excited to meet her! Maybe you could foreshadow when she'll make an appearance by talking about Toto wanting a friend.
ReplyDeleteHi Carli!
ReplyDeleteI chose to read your storybook because I absolutely love stories about Oz! I almost chose this for my storybook, but didn't, so I'm glad I will be able to keep up with yours. I think it's very interesting that you are writing from Toto's point-of-view. I never would have thought of that, and it's very creative! Your writing style conveys how I would assume a dog would talk. They have short attention spans and like to jump from topic to topic. I wonder if we will be reading commentary from the humans, or just hearing Toto and his perspective? Does he understand what the humans say or just have a general idea about some words? Also, is Emma in the books, or did you create her as a character? I have only seen the movie so I wasn't sure. I can't wait to continue reading your stories! You're doing a great job so far!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteI really love that you are writing from Toto's perspective. The moment I saw this storybook pop up on the random generator, I was excited to see what you wrote. I only got to read the introduction, which was very well done. The way you capture the point of this storybook, the character who will be playing a major role, and what to expect in such a short word amount was really good. The pictures really ties this introduction together, and makes this even stronger. One thing I might suggest is maybe use some text options (italics, bold, underline) to really emphasize the important parts of this introduction, or just make the display style of words more effective. Other than that, I think you did a really great job and I am super excited to come back to this storybook to read the rest. Nice job!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteI've only seen the Wizard of Oz once in my life and I believe it was in school too, so I don't remember much. However as I'm reading your introduction and story it's all coming back to me and it feels very nostalgic. I love the idea to take the original story and have it told from a different perspective. And not just anybody, a dogs perspective! I wrote a story a couple of week ago using this writing technique as well and it's very fun to do. I enjoy the visuals for your project. The yellow brick road at the bottom of each page is very clever. I wonder when we'll get to see the new dog, Emma. Was she in the movie or book? I don't quite remember. I see that Toto is suppose to be protective of his owner, Dorothy, but he didn't really take any protective measures when the house went up into the sky or when they met the witch. I would suggest overall developing Toto a little bit more through his actions.
Hello Carlie. The Wizard of Oz is a classic story that a lot of people know and love. Reading your stories from Toto's perspective is pretty enjoyable and interesting. To put yourself into how a dog would feel and act during the situations is something special to do. I do have a question or two though. Are you just going to retell the original story of Oz or are you going to make it more your own? I think adding to it would make someone who has read or seen the movie a little more interested in your work. I have only read the first story so far but also is the time setting the same as the original or did you make it more towards a modern approach? Your use of images do give the reader a visual of the scene you are talking about but possibly a little more detail could go into the story about them.
ReplyDeleteCarli,
ReplyDeleteI love the Wizard of Oz and spin offs of the story like Wicked and your story! I also think you did a great job of your page set up. The pictures within your story add visual elements. I especially like the yellow brick road that you incorporated! Your introduction does a great job of introducing us to the story and the main character. You can tell that Toto loves and admires Dorothy. A suggestion I have would be to add a surprising element to your story, rather than just telling the same story we all know. I think it would provoke more interest from your readers. Add something that occurred in the story the whole time, but only Toto noticed! Regardless, you have done a great job! I look forward to reading more!
Carli,
ReplyDeleteFirst off - you've done a TON of work on your project so go girl!!! I'm so impressed by how many pages you have done already! Great job! What a cool idea to tell the story from Toto's point of view! I also appreciated that in the authors note you pointed out some differences between the book and the movie. Going forward it could be cool to see some major differences to the story since Toto's perspective isn't super different from Dorothy's! I can tell you've put a lot of work into the pictures and and overall look of your story so great work! Overall this is such a fun project and I can't wait to read more! Have a great week!
Hey Carli,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time reading your Storybook, but I have to say that I really like the concept of you rewriting a well-known story, but through a different perspective. This case: The Wizard of Oz's story in the eyes of Dorothy's dog, Toto. This reminds me a lot of my favorite series of books as a kid about a cow dog who, in his mind, was the protector of his farm. You did an awesome job with your story by making Toto's telling of the story feel so fresh, despite the fact we already know what happens in the story.
My suggestion for you is this: have you considered deviating from the original story? Toto was an awfully small character, so the fact that he can disappear and have his own mini-adventure would not be so far fetched. What I am saying is that you should not be afraid to play around and create your own story for Toto, which can always be reconnected to the main story whenever you want!
Great job!
Hi, Carli!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really like how convenient it is that there are two places I can click to read your introduction and the story of The Cyclone and Oz. It’s great that you already have the titles of the two other stories planned out, because your readers will get a hint of what stories you are going to tell next. I like the banner images you have for each page as they are relevant to the content. I realized that you are telling the stories about The Wonderful Wizard of Oz in the perspective of Toto. I am also telling stories about a Hindu God in his own words. You have kept most of the plot the same as the original story. One suggestion is that perhaps you can change the plot a bit to make it more entertaining and surprising to read. Overall, I enjoyed reading your stories and I look forward to read more.
Hi Carli! This is so great. I love that your storybook is in Toto's perspective. This does a good job of appealing to people who like animals.Also, most people wonder what animals think about in certain situations, so I think it is really cool you decided to incorporate that into your project. It is very cleaver. It is also nice to see this story in a different perspective. I also really like how you conveniently put your link to the next story at the end, that way the reader can just continue on without really having to think about it. You did a really good job of retelling the story. I like how you already included the title and the headers of your other two stories. For now, that gives readers an idea of what to expect when they come back! Overall you did a great job and I cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHi Carli, I think it is very smart that you are re-telling the story about the Wizard of Oz in your own way from Toto's point of view! I usually do not like to read story in first person point of view, but in the case of Toto, I find it very smart. Toto is indeed very adorable and your writing has a sense of humor that is quite amusing to read. I like that you include some link regarding information (like dog seeing only gray) to help the readers understand why. Your insertion of images between moments also help readers visualize what is going on and it is great! The details in your story is also well-written. I wonder if you will have Toto more involve in the challenges that Dorothy will face, like being a brave dog and such because if you do, Toto is will be an awesome main character. Overall, I really enjoy your story and looking forward to read more from you.
ReplyDeleteCarli,
ReplyDeleteI am SO excited that you're doing this Storybook. The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite stories, and I really like that you're taking your own liberties with it. Have you ever read the series Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige? If you like Oz, you'll like that. It's definitely a must read.
Making your Storybook in first person from Toto's POV is an answer idea. There seems to be plenty of animals with their own thoughts/actions throughout Oz, so it only makes sense that Toto would too! The pictures that you have chosen are great and really envelope what the setting is supposed to look like. The language that you use in your story is simple, which is good because I assume that is how a dog would think. My one comment is that giving Toto more of a personality would help the readers to become one with the narrator rather than an outsider looking in. Other than that, great job! Keep up the good work.
Cassidy
Hey Carli! I love the Wizard of Oz, so when I saw the title of your storybook I was immediately drawn in! I love that you wrote in the point of view of Toto! I never thought of that during the million times I've seen that movie so that was cool to read about! I love the dramatic parts of your writing, as well as the humorous parts! Some parts are cute and funny, just as I imagine a dog to tell a story. I also like that you go beyond just the scope of the movie! I find that many books have so much more detail than the movies, so I was excited to see that there were elements from the book in there as well :) I loved reading your storybook and I can't wait to read more! Good job overall :)
ReplyDeleteHey Carli!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the layout of your storybook! Not only did you include links at the end of each story, but you also have easy tabs to follow at the top. You did a great job with all of your picture choices and placement as well. I really think the yellow brick road image was a creative and great idea at the end to follow to the next story.
Content wise, I absolutely adore the Wizard of Oz. I was so excited to see that you did a storybook about it, and even more excited to click on it and read that it's from Toto's point of view. You describe Toto so perfectly in the introduction, and really prepare the reader for the rest of the stories. I didn't remember the lion's adventures Toto described, and it made sense when reading the notes that it wasn't in the movie. That's awesome that you incorporated beyond the movie, and I just might read that book!
I don't really have any critiques or suggestions because you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed your storybook!
I can't wait to read Glinda and Home when it's finished.
Great job! :)
Hey, Carli! I love the idea behind your storybook. "The Wizard of Oz" is one of my favorite movies and I love the L. Frank Baum novels as well. I really like the idea of telling the story from Toto's perspective, it brings new life to a story most people are familiar with. I enjoyed hearing Toto "speak" in the introduction but eventually, it got a bit repetitive. I understand keeping the language simple since it is from the perspective of a dog but I would suggest reading your stories out loud and then trying to get rid of repeating words/phrases. Also, I love that you are using pictures from the film and it is a bit nit-picky of me but the photo quality is a little grainy and I think it takes away from the look of your otherwise wonderful website. My only other suggestion is related to my earlier suggestion about repetition. Your sentences are all about the same length and from a reader's stand-point a variety of sentence structure would help keep people engaged. I have a tendency to use very short sentences in my own writing and have to go back and edit a lot to keep my writing from sounding redundant - it is amazing what a few well-placed dashes or semicolons can do for a piece of writing. Other than that, well done!
ReplyDeleteHello Carli.The second story about how the lion became the king of the forest was enjoyable. The basic run down of the story that most people know was simple but it did hit all the main focal points. I have never read the Oz books so reading that the lion kills a spider is new to me. I understand that it is from Toto's perspective but a little more detail in your stories would help keep someone engaged. It was really short and a lot of words are repeated. Maybe with the next one add some more detail as you would figure dogs would notice more things than just the smells. Maybe he sees something others don't such as a light or ghostly object. Dog's senses are different from ours. Other than adding detail and watching out for repeated words you have done a great job. Toto is a fan favorite and seeing it through his eyes is refreshing.
ReplyDeleteHello Carli,
ReplyDeleteI love your layout and all the pictures of Toto! I'm kinda sad that his ears are cut off on the cover page but I'm not sure if you can adjust that or not...
Your introduction is super cute and sounds like something Toto would say! The part about the girl dog joining the family soon seemed kind of random to me and I don't remember that being in the movie (but I haven't seen it in a really long time) so I'm not really sure what to do with that information.
It's super cool that you provided a link to show your research on dogs seeing in color!
Maybe, in "The Cyclone and Oz" it should be a mini earth quake instead of a large one.. "Thunk" isn't really the right word for a large earthquake.
You mention that three of the munchkins are in blue and one is in white.. but earlier you said that Toto couldn't see color... soooo :) Maybe if Dorthy mentioned it and he caught those colors then that would make a little more sense. Also, is he calling it the Yellow Brick Road because he sees that it's yellow or because he's heard it called that.
"King of the Forest" reads so quickly. There's a lot of summary in a very short amount of text. I wonder if there's a way to shorten it even further and then tell more about the Lion killing the spider? That part sounded really interesting and I bet most people know the story of The Wizard of Oz by now so skimping on the summary of the usual events shouldn't take too much away from the story.
I really like the telling of a traditional story through a smaller character's eyes! It's very interesting and I'm excited for the last installment!
Hey Carli,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your blog and think its really neat that you went with the Wizard of Oz idea. I thought your introduction sounded just like I imaged Toto would say. It was very clever. I enjoyed your lion story a lot. The sentences seem choppy though and it was almost like there was too much information. I think if you gave a more brief description of the background and really added more detail into the part about the spider that it would make the story more interesting to read. Other than that I enjoyed your writing and can't wait to read more.
Hi again! I read your stories a while back and wanted to catch up on your newest stories. They definitely did not disappoint. I love how Toto is retelling all of these stories. It definitely does give the stories a very new and unique perspective. I liked the lion's story, but I feel like he was not really the main focus of the story, but that is ok. I still really enjoyed the story and I still found out how the Lion became the "King." I also agree with the comment above. Maybe you could shorten the background information and really zoom in on the lion's story. Maybe you could start from where the Lion says he is brave and really zoom in on the details of the lion's story. Overall, your story is great and I really enjoy the retellings in Toto's perspective. I cannot wait to read the last story! Great job and good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Carli!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great concept for a Storybook! I love that you've taken such a well-known story and transformed it by telling it from the dog's perspective. It's adorable, and the fact that most of your readers know the basic story helps get the humor across, because we can recognize the differences between Toto's perspective and our perspective. You did a great job thinking about what a dog would and wouldn't find important; I laughed at Toto's perception of the melting of the wicked witch, because for humans it was the climax of the movie, but for Toto it was just another thing that happened that he did not quite understand. In the second story, I wonder if Toto knows why the Lion ended up brave? Maybe he could say a sentence or two about how the Lion became brave, instead of just stating that he was brave. I really appreciate all the cute details you included about life from a dog's perspective, and this was such a joy to read!
Hey Carli,
ReplyDeleteI love how you told the story of The Wizard of Oz through the eyes of Toto. Who I believe is the real main character through the entire movie but that's just me. I love the beginning how you referenced the movie by saying everything began all grey and dull, but then reminded us that Toto is a dog and mentioned that it's always grey to him. You did a good job throughout the story thinking about how a dog would react and what he would think about all the different situations. I like Toto's reaction to the melting of the witch as well. Your story was very fun to read. Nice job.
Hi carli!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading you story King of the Forest!
The retelling of stories like they were in the wizard of Oz. I like how you took the original story, and came up with your own continuation of it. Also I appreciate that you provided links to where you can go look at the parts where you got the inspiration for your story, that was a nice touch. One thing I would say is maybe make the picture of the lion that you posted bigger, right now it seems a little small and out of place. The rest of your page looks amazing! I really like where you have taken you story page!
Hi Carli! This was such an original idea! I love the Wizard of Oz and who doesn't love Toto?! You did such a good job of telling everything from a dog's perspective, especially his love for Dorothy! All the little doggie details you added were super cute and well thought out. I seriously laughed out loud when he described the munchkins as an army of little people who smelled like candy! I also really liked that Toto saw the shoes as gray because it made me think about how in the original story the shoes were silver. That was a really nice touch. Your stories were so entertaining to read and they were so cute and fun! My only complaint is that there aren't more stories. I would totally read the Wizard of Oz from Toto's perspective! Can't wait to read how they get home to Kansas. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Carli! You are a very creative writer! I loved reading the rest of your stories about the Wizard of OZ. You did such an amazing job with the details throughout the whole story. I really like how it ended and that even though Dorthy did not have her silver shoes if she was ever needed back in Emerald City that they would figure out a way to get back. It would be cool to write a small story about how they did end up having to go back. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Carli!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interesting and unique idea, you really killed it! I really liked that you used images from the movie as the pictures for your headings. I think the twist of having Toto narrate was also really cool and a good choice to freshen up the story a bit.
The stories were also really interesting and had a lot of detail and thought put into them. For instance, one thing that I liked was the hypertext link you made for "I see in gray," and then had the link to the article. It really gives the reader a chance to learn more about the topic without detracting from the story being told, I never really thought to do that! I really did enjoy reading your stories, they had great flow and were all entertaining.
Keep up the great work!
Good Afternoon Carli!
ReplyDeleteI finally finished your story. Seeing that it was retold from Toto's point of view it was a fresh take on a story a lot of people already know. I did notice that it felt sort of rushed. I know it is the last story but you could have put a little more detail about the hat or the trip back from Oz. Also, I thought dogs were colorblind, so how could Toto know that Glinda's eyes were as blue as the ocean? As far as the rest of the story goes it was enjoyable to read. You have room to stretch the ending out a little more and might want to revisit that so your readers could be satisfied. Other than that good job overall on the story, it was fun to read and imagine it from Toto.
Hi Carli! First, I would like to say how good your website looks. All of the images on the website were used really well. I especially like the yellow brick at the bottom of each page. The videos you included were also used very effectively. I love how you told this classic story from the perspective of Toto. It is extremely creative because I feel like most people would have picked basically every other character except for Toto. I think the most memorable part of this storybook is Toto’s humor, especially in the introduction. You gave him a great personality which made him an even more likable character. I think my main question is why you didn’t put that much dialogue in the actual stories. I feel like this would have been great to see how the other characters interpret Toto when he’s barking at them or something. He could be trying to tell them something important and they just misread the situation completely. Overall, this was a really well made storybook which was enjoyable to read.
ReplyDeleteHey Carli,
ReplyDeleteI came back for more of Toto's adventures. Toto is a riot still. his personality makes him a very likeable character. I am curious as to why toto lacks in dialogue in the actual stories. Is it because he's a dog so it isn't like the other characters can understand him anyways? I don't know. I still love the pictures, color schemes, and how you are telling the stories from Toto's perspective. Good luck these last few weeks in the semester>
Hey Carli!
ReplyDeleteI'm from the Indian Epics class, and I have to say, I really love the idea behind your project! I really like the Wizard of Oz in general, and I think your idea to tell it from Toto's perspective is very cool. Your site was really aesthetically pleasing, too - the font was stylistic, the background was simple, and the pictures added good meaning to the stories. I think the way you organized your story was useful, too. It helped develop the characters well, and the procession of events was really smooth. The way you describe Toto's varying emotions, whether it's confusion and jealousy in "The Cyclone and Oz" or happiness in "Glinda and Home." The dialogue really helped the reader feel connected, as well. The only suggestion I have is to perhaps include more imagery so that the reader can visualize what Toto or his settings look like at any given point. Overall, I thought you did a fantastic job with your writing, and look forward to reading more of your project!
Carli,
ReplyDeleteI first off love the idea of taking the different perspective of Toto in such a classic loved story. I am from the indian epics class so it is fun for me to get to come over and read a little different side of stories than what I have gotten used to from week to week. I love the design of your page as it is perfect for the story you are telling. One of the things I regret with my own project is I did not provide enough dialogue throughout the writing and that is something you did really well as it added a lot of detail. I loved that about your writng. Another thing I really enjoy about your project was that is had great pictures and that really helps the reader imagine what the setting is that much better. It is always easier to remember something whenever their is a good image to go along with it. Great Job and have a good break!!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteI loved your story book! Somehow I hadn’t come across it yet during the semester, so I was really excited to be able to read it in its entirety now that you’ve published all your stories. I think you did a great job with it, especially with the ending! I love the concept of telling the story from Toto’s perspective, and I think you executed it super well! I like that you added the video clips and music too. I think it added a unique element to your story book! I think there was good character development and an interesting perspective on the classic characters and the story we are familiar with. I love flipped perspective stories and this was one I hadn’t thought of yet! Overall, you did such a great job with it! I’m really glad I clicked on your story and got to read it!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteYour idea to tell The Wizard of Oz through the eyes of Toto is brilliant! I chose to read your project by choice because it sounds so interesting. Your introduction was super cute and sweet, just like Toto. You do a good job of at grabbing the reader’s attention while not giving us too much information. I like how your heading is a black and white picture. This reminds me of the movie and how it begins in black and white and then turns to color once Dorothy enters Oz. I also thought this was clever because dogs do not see in color. I also liked how Toto comments on how the munchkins smell! I would not have thought about that. You have done a wonderful with your project and you should be proud of how it has turned out. Have a wonderful Christmas break and good luck on your finals.
First of all, I loved the formatting of your story. Using Toto as a narrator who understands the ins and outs of the website and how the links to stories work was a really cute and clever touch. It was my favorite part of reading the stories! I also was impressed that you kept up Toto's gray sight throughout the series. It added another element of humor to an already hilarious set of stories. I think putting it in first person helped drive home just how heroic Toto truly was during his adventure. You did a fantastic job of keeping up his voice and tone consistently as well. I wish there were four stories instead of just three, but three did round out the experience fairly well. I will say that I wished I could've heard more about the specific section where Toto unmasks Oz, as I always thought that was an important Toto moment! That would have been so fun to see his true heroics in action!
ReplyDelete