Caption: Only for a little while
Swing, Swing, Swing
Little girl swing
Up you go
and down you fall
Swing, Swing, Swing
- Anti Aunt
Sally is going to our Aunt's house today. She has never met Aunt Nel before, but I have. She is a beast of a woman with long painted fingernails. Her shoes always point a little in. Her hair always sticks a little to the left. Her eyes always look a little up. My point is that nothing about our Aunt Nel seems quite right. Everything is a little off.
Sally is now four years old. She keeps to herself, but is good at sharing. She likes to snuggle in a blanket with me on nights when it gets cold. She will even pick up my toys after she is done picking hers up. She laughs a sweet, tiny laugh when I do something funny. She loves our mom and dad, and they dote on her. I always find them holding onto her as if her life depends on it. I actually think it may.
I used to have a big sister, you know. She was quite like Sally if only a little louder. I can barely remember her except the last day I saw her. You know when that was? The day she turned four. I was three. I can just recall her walking out the front door by the kitchen to trek to Aunt Nel's house. After that... I never saw her again.
Sally is leaving now. Dad is clutching onto mom's shoulder. I think I saw mom shed a quiet tear.
Goodbye sister. It has been a real pleasure knowing you. Hopefully, next time, mom will have a boy.
Hello, Carli!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want to say what an interesting story! I really liked how you used the length of the story to add to the suspense. Honestly I always find myself writing stories that are a bit too long and I really respect how you managed to fit in all the themes with so few words. Great Work!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very short story, but I think it was brilliant. The length in part definitely added to the suspense. I like how the end reveals the sad truth about what happens to the sisters. Had I not read the author's note first I would have been more surprised, but it was still very interesting. I definitely may use this shorter story idea in my next story. Great job!
Hi Carli!
ReplyDeleteWow, I just wanted to say I loved your retelling of the story - short and sweet. I read the original, but I honestly love this version more! I always try to get myself to write longer as some other classmates have said above, but it must be a challenge to write short and get everything in as well. I may try this before the semester is over in one of my future stories as well! Nice job!
Hey Carli,
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. Short and sweet which is refreshing after reading long stories. It is so suspenseful and a bit spooky a the same time. Its great how you can do that with so few words. I thought your version was better than the original as well. I keep asking myself why the parents let a small child walk a lone to see a creepy aunt but hey its a story.
Hi Carli! Great story this week! As other people have said I really thought it was cool that you told this one in so few words - I always seem to ramble on forever! I also did Native American readings this week so it was great to hear some of the stories retold! I thought it was interesting that you switched the genders and the way you wrote it definitely added more emotional impact! Great job!
ReplyDelete